Someone shit on the floor
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
