Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
