OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
