Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
