He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
