You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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