grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
