The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
