you're like a bully in the Christmas story
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
