I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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