yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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