Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
