And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
