I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
