come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
honey bunches of taint.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
