Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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