I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
