i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
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