Pappa wants mamma naked
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
