Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Rumble strips road head = magical
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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