i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
