that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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