The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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