I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Someone came in the potted fern
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
