The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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