ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
