i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize