so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
