Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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