I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
