I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
