Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
