i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
