I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
