Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
