actually, I'm a sock model
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
