he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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