I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
