i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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