i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
