I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
