I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
