i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize