i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
