Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize