I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Dick very happy bro
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
