they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
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