the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
