Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
