Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
