If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
