Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Randomize
