MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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