come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
