I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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