Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
