Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
It's blow job season.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
