I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
this will be a night to untag.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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