hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I would ride that face into the sunset
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
