Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
