Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize