another moral hangover. fuck.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
