she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
no you cant smoke seaweed
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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