What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
We need to get me chipped asap
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
