I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
