It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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