I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
