did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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