Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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