it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
time to smoke my breakfast
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
